Ten Reasons The Walking Dead TV Series Sucks

Without preamble.


1. The November 2nd episode. Beth wakes up in a place that seems normal, safe and sound. But wait! Everything isn't as it seems. OMG, how many times have we gone through THAT plot line?

2. Same episode. And guess what? There's a creepy dude who wants to force himself on Beth. Wow, that's another new one for Hollywood. To believe today's script writers, woman are lucky to make it from their car at the curb into Starbucks without being assaulted. I understand sexual assault is a real issue, but I wonder if portraying so many men as predators is really helpful.



3. November 9th. Glass in a fuel line? Really? Who writes this stuff? Have they ever heard of a cup of water? More effective. The fuel filter would have blocked the glass.
Melissa Mcbride. Great actress. Strong Character.

4. Maggie's accent. Are you kidding me? I've lived my entire life in the south, I've never met anyone that talks like her. Over the top twang, yet perfect grammar.

5. Lack of edginess
. Oh yeah, AMC loves the gore. Sort of a poor man's edginess, but how about Rick's right hand? He loses it in the comic book, but I guess we can't have a disfigured leading man, huh? Or Dale and Andrea's less-than-platonic relationship? Edgy to be sure, but not something AMC wanted to deal with. 

6. Carl. Do I really need to say anything else? Just, Carl.

7. Dark pasts. Does everyone need a dark past? I don't have a dark past. None of my friends
 have dark pasts. Where are the normal folks?

8. Did I mention seemly safe refuges that turn out to be death traps?

9. Daryl's hair. Really? In five seasons he hasn't stumbled across a stream to wash it in?

10. The Talking Dead follows it. Chris Hardwick (Can you believe that guy is 43?) is engaging, clever, and a solid host... but... but the questions! They are inane. Here's a spoiler... none of the cast are EVER going to say anything significant about the show. Ever. Talking Dead would be so much much better if the guests talked a small amount about the episode and a large amount about themselves. How did they get into acting? Have they been in other zombie-like films, etc.

Without postamble. That's it.

Am I right, or am I right? 


Mark H. Walker served 23 years in the United States Navy, most of them as an Explosive Ordnance Disposal diver, he is the author of Desert Moon, an exciting mecha, military scifi novel with a twist, with plenty of damn science fiction in it despite what any reviewer says, as well as World at War: Revelation, a creepy, military action, with a love story, alternate history, World War Three novel thing, Everyone Dies in the End, and numerous short stories. They are all available from Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing right here. Give them a try. I mean, what the hell?



Comments

Ken said…
Agreed for the most part, but it's still my favorite TV show. Of course, I don't watch very much TV at all and I like zombie-themed stuff (games, movies) so it's hard not to be my favorite.
Unknown said…
I've only watched season 1, I guess I'm waiting to do all the season at one time on Netflix some time in the distance future. Anyway have you tried "We're Alive" a podcast Radio Drama? 100% better than The Walking Dead. It had a 4 year run which ended this summer and is available on iTunes or XBOX Podcasts; here is a link to web site with more information: http://www.werealive.com/ or the imdb listing with the cast is http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2089578/ check it out as I believe you will enjoy.
Mark H. Walker said…
Ha, Ken. Agreed. I bitch, but still I watch.
Anonymous said…
You forgot the standard "love triangle" from Season 1 (Rick, his wife and Shane). Hollywood believes in the ubiquity of love triangles even more so than "dark pasts".
Anonymous said…
What bugs me is the guy who plays rick, He is CONSTANTLY SWEATING!, unless..... Well I think that is how they try to portray emotions, When in fact he just looks like he is going through the DT's. How about where do they keep getting the razors and makeup? And they are in the south about a hundred miles from where I now sit, And it is 38 degrees F. outside. Yet everything seems to happen in the summer, spring or fall.
Second where are all the bullets coming from?
Third it is not easy to shove a blade through a skull, believe me, we used to kill hogs, We either shot them or drove an ice pick in their skull, And we had to use a hammer. That is the biggest BS in the show. and also when they stab a Z and pull out the knife.A knife will stick in a person until you break the suction..
Anyway I loved the comic, Hate it now. And the show is falling into the pit of its on popularity.
Mark H. Walker said…
Hey folks, thanks for the comments.
dave said…
It is about the only show left on broadcast TV that I actually make the effort to watch. You are in the Mark (no pun intended). Add, who is mowing the lawns? I live in farm country so I know very well what grass looks like if no one cuts it. We are now into what the second or third year of the apocalypse? And still the grass is short.

Of course the biggest plot hole is still the walkers themselves, just wrong on so many levels of biology, but without them there would be no show...
Mark H. Walker said…
You are right, Dave. It's why I prefer infected, as in 28 Days, over Zombies. The dead are dead, but even if they weren't dead, the show shows that they decay. In three years they would have decayed to the point of being nothing but bones. And yes, who the hell cuts the grass?
Anonymous said…
For a guy who writes about vampires and werewolfs in World War that never happened, you sure are harsh on suspension of disbelief.
Anonymous said…
Well, yeah- Maggie is a Brit born and raised in New Jersey, which explains her accent issues... ever hear her talk in her normal voice? and Rick is a Brit too. I guess we can't find good Southern Actors. :)
Anonymous said…
Of course- what does bother me is - how the hell do that get all those wonderful head shots! That is extremely tough to do from unsupported shooting positions, no matter how good you are.
Mark H. Walker said…
Yep, from 25-30 feet to boot!
Mark H. Walker said…
I think Rick sounds authentic. Maggie's real voice is beautiful. I just don't think she does a believable Southerner.
Anonymous said…
I watched season 1 and part of 2.

When Rick gets killed I'll probably pick WD up again at that point. Few characters in any movie or TV show have ticked me off as much as him. Can't watch an otherwise great show because of him.

Does that make me wierd?
Mark H. Walker said…
No, not really. He did go all Ross (from Friends) on us for a while back in season two. Carol and Daryll are my favorite characters.
Anonymous said…
OK - you are right. I had to laugh off Carol blowing up a gas leak with the luckiest bottle rocket shot in the world. But last night's death of Beth may have convinced me WD writers are getting WAY TOO LAZY.

I was shocked when Beth was shot! I really didn't think it would happen. Then I liked it- saying, that I liked the pointless moments. Then I peeled back the onion in my thoughts and said - "you know, this makes NO sense the way it went down. The writers got REALLY LAZY." There was absolutely no motivation for Beth to put her life in Jeopardy, it was not even close to staying in character for what she's been exposed to:
1) Beth has NOT seen Rick or the Group and especially her Sister and the Judith since the Prison -those are who she cares about MOST
2) She has not seen Daryl since she was kidnapped. These are all people she LOVES and matter most to her.
3) In the midst of getting saved, SHE AND CAROL are walking out ALIVE with her most BELOVED friends. She doesn't know about her Sister, but can assume Maggie and Judith are still alive too and would want to find out.
4) Dawn is a bitch, but she is NO Governor, and the people there will eat their own eventually. You can despise Dawn, but again, she is not such a psycho-path that she is an existential threat to the group like Terminus or the Governor.
5) Noah was making a choice to sacrifice on his own free will. Nobody was gonna get hurt.
6) and Beth is just gonna try and use some small scissors in the middle of a Mexican Stand off where ALL her beloved friends can get murdered?
7) Beth's action was not going to help ANYONE. her calculus was all wrong. This was not "a good redeeming death" sacrifice like Meryl, T-dog, Andrea, or Hershel or even a nihilist pointless death like so many others. This was just stupid.
8) Finally Beth was the closest embodiment of living Herschel's values and maintaining an optimism about humanity and life, even with all its warts (i.e. her time with Daryl). I cannot see such a radical departure from her Father's example of non-violence, Christianity, and care-giving, and her time with Dawn is just not enough to have flipped her.

LAZY Writing. Walking Dead really pissed me off with this one - the story is risking itself.

Oh - anyone notice Near Death Carol, who get s wheeled out in a wheel chair is Standing behind Darryl at the end?
Anonymous said…
On top of it the whole escape from the church, return to the church to run away from the church to being too afraid to kill a couple of pent of Walkers when they killed Sooo many more under less controlled conditions was just...well, confusing and sloppy.
Mark H. Walker said…
You are so right! Lazy writing sums it all up. I've thought so for a while. It's either lazy, or they want to dumb it down... rather than truly write edgy plots, just kill a character for shock value. So lame. These guys ought to write for Mad Men.
Anonymous said…
I stopped watching after the first few episodes when they clearly established that zombies can't climb ladders or force open padlocked doors. Then these geniuses decide to go and live in flimsy tents, on ground-level. I like watching smart people fight for their lives. When stupid people are too stupid to protect their lives, I start rooting for the other team.

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