Women as Sexual Objects...Why I'm Sick of Being Accused

Black men are better athletes than white men.

How does that statement strike you? Inappropriate, bigoted, racist?

How about this one?

Men objectify woman.

Is that better, more socially acceptable? If so, why? There is truth in both statements, yet both statements are inflammatory. Or they should be considered inflammatory, because both statements are bigoted. Extremely bigoted.

I'm a man, been one all my life. I was a High School boy who thought of nothing but sex, I was a college kid, who thought of nothing but sex and beer (and occasionally studying), I was a Navy diver, part of what many would consider a pretty macho group of men, and admit that sex was not a foreign thought.  Yet during those times I rarely, I mean I'm having trouble thinking of more than one or two times, was I present when a man objectified a woman.

I'm sure all the ladies want to know his inner
hopes, dreams, and take on today's news.

Loved a woman, was excited by a woman, appreciated a woman? You bet. Regarded a woman as nothing more than a tool? Not me. Not my friends.

On the flip side of the coin I've listened to women berate men's child rearing abilities, watched movies when every other breath some lady comments on the hottness of the protagonist, and laughed at  my own relatives' story about their visits to a transgender bar to watch men, dressed as ladies, flaunt their stuff.

Do I have a problem with a movie star's handsomeness? Of course not, but when you're commenting on a sergeant's sexuality in Blackhawk Down, you're sort of missing the point of the movie. And do I have a problem with cross-dressers and transsexuals? Not per se, but if you're at a bar to watch them dance, to laugh at their costumes, it seems a bit like objectification to me. And parenting? Give me thirty kids for an afternoon, and I'll show you the ten without a strong father figure by sundown.

 

Let's toss that coin again. I've seen goons ogle my daughter's chest at conventions. To the point where I stepped in front of her, and stared down the offending goon. And worse still, he didn't realize he was doing it; it was just engrained in his/their psyche. I'm casual friends with an author and comic book critic with a Twitter following in excess of 23K. She frequently gets requests on Twitter and Facebook chat to show her boobs. I know because she posted the .jpg of the chat on Twitter. And the video below? The young lady receives tons of inappropriate sexual comments on her YouTube channel.

Final flip. Some (and note the use of the word, "some") woman use their looks, and not just their looks, but their looks intentionally tweaked with a twinge of sexuality, to get favors, promotions, jobs, and attention. And the girl below? I'm thinking that if she was missing an eye, she'd get a lot less YouTube views.

So what's my point? It's simple. Women are victims of sexual objectification. To a much lesser degree so are men. But the statement "Men objectify women," which is a statement I commonly hear, and the point of the video below, is as inaccurate as it is inflammatory. I do not objectify woman. My friends do not objectify woman, and to say that "men" (as in everyone without a vagina) do/does, frankly pisses me/us off. It's not a guy's problem to fix this, nor is it a mystical, somewhere out there, finger quoted "society's" problem to fix. It is our, men and woman's, problem.  I'll do my share, please, woman, just don't devolve your share to simple finger pointing.

See you tomorrow.

 

Mark H. Walker is a retired U.S. Navy Commander and author of over 40 books, including the acclaimed World at War: Revelation, a novel of a twisted third world war. You can read more about Mark/me at my personal website thing.