The Five Scariest Horror Movies in the History of the Galaxy

Back when I was a kid, I loved horror movies. Keep in mind that this was way back. Stuff like The Wolf Man, starring Lon Chaney, or Frankenstein with Boris Karloff. But let's be honest. That stuff isn't scary anymore. There is, however, a lot of new generation films that truly are. I'm going to list five of them below, but before I do, I want to talk about scary. Scary is creepy, scary is truly unexpected, scary is a chill up your spine. Scary is rarely overt, and never senselessly bloody. So Saw fans, and Cannibal Holocaust (Yeah, it's a real movie.) lovers, don't expect to see your favorite movie on my list.

1. The Exorcist. If this movie didn't scare you, you might not have a heart. The eyes, the head, the

The Ring's Samara. Looks different without makeup, no?

thundering response to the priest. I saw the movie the summer of my sophomore year in college. I did not go to sleep that night. I did doze off shortly after the sun rose. Then my roommate crawled under my bed and began subtly shaking it. I think my scream is still echoing down the streets of Meridian, Mississippi.

2. The Ring. Adapted from Koji Suzuki's classic novel, The Ring is a thought provoking, thoroughly creepy movie. From the unsettling scene with the horse on a boat, to the downright terrifying speed with which  Samara exits the TV at the end of the movie, the film will keep you breathless for its duration. What I remember most clearly was the movie's pervasive dread. You just knew something really horrific was right around the corner.

3. 28 Days Later. Here's the problem with zombies: dead is dead. The idea of reanimation is so silly that it's never been horrific for me. But this movie isn't about reanimation, it's about a plague, a lethal plague that crazes its victims. That, I can believe in. That, I can be afraid of. I love the movie's pacing, from the slow beginning to the first encounter with the plague victims, from the travel across country, to the final scenes in the soldiers' manor, the movie was classic tension and release. Not bad music either.

4. Crazies: Another zombie-type movie, but the victims aren't killed, or even physically ill, they are psychotic. A secret government plane, carrying a secret government weapon (anyone ever wondered how they keep all these secrets from us), crashes in Pierce County, Iowa. The weapon, called the Trixie virus, contaminates the city's water supply, turning most of the town's inhabitants into crazed killers. The blood-curdling pitchfork scene is worth the entire price of admission.

5. Scary Movie 3: Okay, Okay. I know this isn't a horror movie, although parts of it scared the heck out of my daughters. It's a comedy, and one of the funniest ever. "Willie Mays?"