Pet Peeves III. On Tipping, Toys, and Monsters.
Sometimes I don’t write about writing. Sometimes I don’t
write about games. But you, my faithful 32, know that. Today is one of those
times. Today is more of the pet peeves and a few words on Monsters Dark Continent. It’s a short blog, so bear with me. First, the peeves.
Tipping. What is up with the tipping? I’m a generous tipper.
When eating out I almost always tip 18-20%. Yeah, if the service is horrendous
the percentage might drop, but not often. But now, as I’m sure you all have
noticed, everyone wants a tip. Stroll into Starbucks, order a coffee Grande with
room for cream, and the tip jar waits silently on the counter, mocking your
cheapness. Walk into the local Chinese carry-out, buy a pair of Szechuan beefs
and swipe your debit card. You’ll see the tip line taunting you on your
receipt. Exactly what are we tipping these folks for? Pouring coffee from an
urn? Placing your meals in Styrofoam boxes and stuffing them in a bag? Come on
folks. Following that logic, I should include a tip line with every purchase
from Flying Pig Games. After all, we have to stuff it in an envelope (and soon,
in boxes). Let’s leave the tips to the waiters and waitresses and move on.By the way, I do tip at Starbucks. And Panda King. But I'm Catholic. Guilt rules me.
Ye Old Wooden Toy Shoppe (or something...). You’ve
all seen these stores. Most of my gaming readers have even pushed inside,
hoping against hope for a copy of The Untold Stories or Level 7, only to be
bitterly disappointed by a slew of wooden trains, dolls, and building blocks, decorated
with signs claiming “Where imagination runs free!” There are only two types of
folks that shop in these stores: Parents that forgot how to have fun 23 years
ago, and desperate gamers hoping to find something useful in the midst of all
the sorry wooden crap. Crudely cut
wooden playthings do not let imagination run free. In fact, they make kids
think, “Wow, this imagination shit is for the birds. I want a BMW and a trophy
wife/husband/non-gender-specific partner.” In short, they ruin the kid in the
kid. Want to teach your child to have fun? Buy them a copy of Exploding Kittens,
Snorta or Night of Man. Now that will start them on a lifetime of fun.
On rereading that paragraph, I can see where that logic has
a hole or two, but what the heck.
Anonymous Podcasts. So, I design and publish games. That,
and writing, is what I do. I stumble onto a lot of game-related stuff every
single day. Podcasts are much of that game-related stuff. And the huge majority
are horrendous. Here’s a tip, podcasters. No one, and when I say no one, I mean
not a single human being with a life wants to hear you drone for 47-minutes on
the use of Prep Fire in Advanced Squad Leader or the value of lumber in Catan.
That, however, is a blog for another day. Today’s pet peeve is on names.
People, if you are going to do a podcast. Use your real, freaking name. Nothing
ruins a caster’s credibility more than hiding behind some crazy moniker like,
TinkerBell38. Man (or woman) up. Be who you are.
No mitigating outlyer here. If your podcast is over 19 minutes, it sucks. Divide by two and try again.
No mitigating outlyer here. If your podcast is over 19 minutes, it sucks. Divide by two and try again.
Finally… so I watched Monsters Dark Continent last night.
First off, it is NOTHING like The Hurt Locker meets Cloverfield (An early
reviewer’s take on it.). Nothing. I saw the first
Monsters and really liked it.
I like this one also, but it is certainly different. It's written as a
renouncement of American interventionism and raises some very good points. The
monsters are nothing more than a symbol of what we should allegedly fear, and
in fearing and destroying them, we create even more enemies. Not a great movie,
but certainly a thought provoking one.
Am I using too many ellipses?
Mark H. Walker served 23 years in the United States Navy, most of them as an Explosive Ordnance Disposal diver. He is the owner of Flying Pig Games, the designer of the aliens-invade-Earth game Night of Man, the author of Desert Moon, an exciting mecha, military science fiction novel with a twist, with plenty of damn science fiction in it despite what any reviewer says, as well as World at War: Revelation, a creepy, military action, with a love story, alternate history, World War Three novel thing, Everyone Dies in the End, and numerous short stories. All the books and stories are available from Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing right here. Give them a try. I mean, what the hell? The games? Well that's Flying Pig Games. Retribution will release in the summer of 2015.
Am I using too many ellipses?
Mark H. Walker served 23 years in the United States Navy, most of them as an Explosive Ordnance Disposal diver. He is the owner of Flying Pig Games, the designer of the aliens-invade-Earth game Night of Man, the author of Desert Moon, an exciting mecha, military science fiction novel with a twist, with plenty of damn science fiction in it despite what any reviewer says, as well as World at War: Revelation, a creepy, military action, with a love story, alternate history, World War Three novel thing, Everyone Dies in the End, and numerous short stories. All the books and stories are available from Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing right here. Give them a try. I mean, what the hell? The games? Well that's Flying Pig Games. Retribution will release in the summer of 2015.
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